The Best of Both Worlds - Finding a Friend with Benefits

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Finding a friend with benefits can be controversial. Are there the same possibilities of recrimination faced in more straightforward relationships? If things don't work out, could you lose a friend? Here are some of the considerations to be taken into account.

What Exactly Is a Friend with Benefits?

Many of us will be aware of the definition of a friend of benefits, but fewer in number pursue this particular type of relationship. It would be important to define what exactly we mean by a friend with benefits, as some individuals remain in the dark about what is involved with this type of get-together. All of us like to enjoy a social life involving a friendship circle, as well as the pursuit of a sexual partner, whether we are looking for a long-term relationship that might lead to marriage, or we are content to proceed with a series of one-night-stands. We will have definite ideas about the line that should be drawn between friends and lovers. But for some, there is no reason at all why there should be any distinct boundary between the two demographics.

Some people crave the best of both worlds, and this is where the concept of a friend with benefits can intrude on people's lives. The idea is that you have friends who you not only trust, but also you would be willing to indulge in casual sexual encounter once in a while, or even regularly. There are clear benefits to both parties in this situation, but there can also be difficulties when emotions are treated in such a cavalier way.

Have You Thought about How to Be a Friend with Benefits?

One of the most difficult issues regarding the friend with benefits is how to broach the subject exactly. At what point do you approach someone you are close to and suggest taking things to a completely different level? When merging friendship with a sexual relationship, sex can get in the way, its potency creating an imbalance. Many of us had seen the hit movie When Harry met Sally, dealing with precisely this issue. Can any friendship truly survive when the couples in question have become involved romantically, only for their sexual relationship to wane? It would have to be a very strong friendship indeed to survive this sort of trauma.

To make the most of a friendship with benefits, it would be worthwhile taking some dating tips or advice from other members of your friendship circle. Undoubtedly, there will be some of your acquaintances who will firmly counsel against this form of interaction. On the other hand, you may have other friends who would be able to appreciate the benefits of forming a romantic attachment to another friend. If you have thought about one of your friends in this way, the most important aspect is, to be honest, and let them know. In many instances, people inadvertently fall into bed together after drinking a lot of alcohol. The morning after might see embarrassment and recriminations. On the other hand, it could be the case that this liaison seemed to have been the most natural thing to share. However you come about making the transition from just good friends to a friend with benefits, you need to be up-front with each other about this course of action. If you are developing strong feelings, then you need to divulge this.

How Do You Broach the Subject of Becoming Friends with Benefits?

To become physically close with someone who has been a good friend up until that point can be a tricky scenario. But if you are good friends, you should be able to chat about any subject, no matter how awkward it might seem. A true mate will be able to listen to your thoughts and treat them with due importance. Any relationships that are going to change from friendly to something more physical face potential difficulties. But these can be just transcended if you make a point of talking about your feelings.

The Tricky Quest to Find Yourself a Sex Buddy

For a lot of people, casual encounters are far more preferable to the more traditional relationships where a potential husband and wife get together for a long-term romance culminating in marriage. Singles who indulge in one-night-stands appreciate the freedom this form of behavior brings with it. There is an option to make things even more casual, getting involved with individuals purely for sexual encounters and nothing else. Of course, the difficulty with searching for your ideal sex buddy is it can be unknown territory. If you were to suddenly announce to someone you’re like to jump into bed with them because this would be such a convenient way to organize your relationship, you might well be met with mixed responses. If this type of request comes out of the blue, then you are liable to rise more than just a few eyebrows. But if you can approach the person you are interested in honestly, placing your cards on the table and explaining how you're hoping these feelings are reciprocated, this could work out for both of you.

How to Tell Someone You Just Want to Be Friends?

The flipside of this form of interaction is explaining to someone that you do not wish for your friendship to be taken to the next level. If you have been seeing somebody who has turned out to be a sex buddy or a friend with benefits, but you have decided you'd like to end the relationship and become 'just friends' again, this is something you need to discuss sooner rather than later. The worst thing you could do to your friend would be to string them along for fear of hurting them. Far better to be honest. If your friend with benefits is a long-term associate that you have shared a lot of good and bad times with, communication is the key if you have decided the time has come to become friends again.

You may well have heard all sorts of stories about friends with benefits getting quite negative when faced with the reality that you no longer wish to pursue this type of friendship, so it is important to be mature about your feelings. Never be overly precious about your relationship, either. If you wish to break away from being a friend with benefits, tell the other party, explaining your feelings clearly and honestly.